Throwaway sexual comments = quickest way to lose my readership

I've recently started reading an SF book by a male author who is highly regarded.  This is part of my tug of war love/hate relationship with the genre.  It's the books by men that gain most of the plaudits, and the ones most likely to be included on lists of 'ten best SF authors' books you must read'.

I have a real problem with some of the books I've tried to read, mainly because they portray a future that is as hostile to women as the present patriarchal sexualised society is.  Let me give you an example.  One book I started reading had a section which I think was supposed to be a prologue, although it wasn't clear from the headings. And that section consisted of a male character reminiscing about the past.

Nothing wrong with that, you say. Except that at one point he's thinking about a woman.  And we get one line of her dialogue.  And that line is her saying that she really wants to come.  Oh, please!  I have no idea who this stray woman was in terms of the story.  I don't know if she's the other character's girlfriend, or some prostitute he had casual sex with.  

The cynical, weary side of me says that this piece of writing is there as a cheap device to lure in male readers with the promise of sex.  This woman appears on the first page, so you'll probably think that the narrative includes sex and buy the book.

This cheap titillation device lost me as a potential reader of that author's work.  If his level of respect for women is to put them as anonymous characters into his books with their only thoughts about sex then I don't want to read his work.  Because he isn't respecting women, and I expect respect.

I want to read stories that give me some hope for the future.  And the biggest hope you could show me was a world where both men and women have grown up.  Where neither sex uses sex as a way to raise their self esteem.  They don't need to, because their self-esteem is high without that.

That's why books like Ancilary Justice caused such a stir in the SF world.  Because they turned everything our culture tells us about sex and gender on its head, breaks it apart and shows us how constructed, how false it is.

And that's why I have a love/hate relationship with male SF writers' books.  Because all too often I see no trace of a change, no shred of hope that the future can be better.  And my time and my money are limited, so why should I spend either with people who don't respect me?